I Write the Songs

I love music, but I’ve never been much of a country music fan because I always found it to be too simplistic. I’m not trying to demean country music here; I’m only explaining what formed my connection to music. Classical music has always been my favorite, and I believe it is due to the sophistication. At a young age, I became fascinated by the fact that Beethoven composed his Fifth Symphony after he became deaf. The symphony features a four-note motif often referred to as “fate knocking at the door,” which is why the Fifth Symphony was also known as the Fate Symphony.

In my youth, I played several instruments quite well. Still, I could never have imagined writing music for a wide variety of instruments to all work together in concert, producing something like the classical music of Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, or any of the other greats. I did, however, imagine that anyone could write a country music song given its simplicity, so I wrote one for the fun of it, at the same time I was going through a divorce.

Thirty years later, I came across it, refined it slightly, and it will be one of the tracks on an album being released on July 15, 2025. The other tracts? More on those in a future piece, but for now, here’s what I imagined to be in my ex-wife’s mind more than three decades ago:

Ex-Wife’s Revenge

Verse 1
You were my Prince Charming, my knight in faded jeans,
My heart lit up like fireflies when you stepped on the scene.
We’d drive those country backroads, watch the sun sink low,
But that first sweet kiss we shared—now it’s a bitter show.

Chorus
I’m your worst nightmare, your ex-wife on a tear,
Gonna burn your world down, leave you gaspin’ for air.
I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll do what I gotta do,
I’m determined, darlin’, to ruin you.

Verse 2
I cooked your eggs at sunrise, your steak when day was done,
Thought we’d last forever, but you went and cut and run.
That fight tore us apart, left me cryin’ in the rain,
Now I’m claimin’ that old house, and you’ll feel my pain.

Chorus
I’m your worst nightmare, your ex-wife on a tear,
Gonna burn your world down, leave you gaspin’ for air.
I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll do what I gotta do,
I’m determined, darlin’, to ruin you.

Verse 3
I’ll tell the cops you shoved me, let ‘em haul you downtown,
Paint you as a monster with a cold, hard frown.
I’ll cry to your sweet mama, say you cheated every night,
Spin a web of pretty lies ‘til you’re readin’ your last rites.

Bridge
You called me crazy, oh, you crossed that line,
Now this fire in my heart’s gonna make you pine.
From your boss to your buddies, I’ll spread the word around,
You’ll be livin’ in the poorhouse when my storm comes crashin’ down.

Chorus
I’m your worst nightmare, your ex-wife on a tear,
Gonna burn your world down, leave you gaspin’ for air.
I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll do what I gotta do,
I’m determined, darlin’, to ruin you.

Verse 4
I’ll charm your friends with smiles, so sweet they’ll never see,
The venom in my heart that’s aimed at buryin’ thee.
I’ll tell your boss you’re stealin’, make him doubt your every move,
There’s nowhere you can hide, boy, I’ve got nothin’ left to lose.

Chorus
I’m your worst nightmare, your ex-wife on a tear,
Gonna burn your world down, leave you gaspin’ for air.
I’ll lie, I’ll cheat, I’ll do what I gotta do,
I’m determined, darlin’, to ruin you.

Outro
You thought I was just naggin’, just an old hag in your eyes,
But this town believes my story, not your desperate alibis.
So raise a glass to karma, ‘cause I’m settin’ it loose,
Your ex-wife’s got a vendetta, and you’re swingin’ in her noose.